love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
