I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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