I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
