I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
