some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
