me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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