You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
