try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
