I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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