According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
