The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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