Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
