I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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