Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
