Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
