that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
