You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
