We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
