if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
