I just saw a hot homeless man
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
