Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
