she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
