It's just like the Real World with babies
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
