I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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