Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
