Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
