I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
