I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
