Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just gift wrapped bread.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
