sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
