Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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