do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
