Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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