just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Watching her eat just hurts me
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
