Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
