Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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