I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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