You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
