The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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