Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
