TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
