none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
