i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
