my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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