Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Panties = found
Randomize
