God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
