i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
