There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
