Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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