I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Dicks are not precious.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
