ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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